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laivindie [userpic]

Going on

May 14th, 2007 (08:22 pm)
sad

current mood: sad
current song: Secret Garden

My dear friends...on Thursday 17th it will be a month since I am alone. Burial will be that day. People say that I am strong, I think I am, but this time it hurts too much.
I didn't take care about him well. Once when we have been already together he said to me that he wished to die, that he couldn't see any future for him ( his mother ordered him to move) and he said that my pain would go away quickly and he was saying goodbye. That day I saved him, he stayed with me. He lived a while in my house. Why didn't I save him again?
You cannot imagine how I wish now to take care about someone, to save another person...
This picture shows my feelings, I think:
http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f36/Laivindie/others/serving-hands.jpg

Now I am listening to the albums of Secret Garden, almost all the time. If you want listen to just a sample, you can:
http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=batch_download&batch_id=UW16NnFJeDNwM2swTVE9PQ

Comments

Posted by: Maiden of the Moon (ladyithildiel)
Posted at: May 15th, 2007 02:27 pm (UTC)
Ahead in time

*cuddles tightly*I tried to reply when you made this post yesterday, but for some reason lj decided it wanted to freeze on me!:(I'm so sorry for your losss, my sweet one,it's such a terrible, jarring thing to happen!! But you're a wonderful, sweet person and you can't blame yourself for what came to pass!:(I think he had made up his mind and nothing you might have said or done would have changed that!If only he had seen the light in his own life,and realised how blessed he was-by having you by his side-and how blessed he could be, this might not have happened to the both of you!:(Remember him, your love and special feelings for each other,but do not give in to this self-blame...there was nothing to be done, save by himself!!*cuddles tightly*

Posted by: laivindie (laivindie)
Posted at: May 15th, 2007 03:03 pm (UTC)
10

You are so sweet what you saying...I know that, you are right. It will be good, I know that, but everyone says that it will takes a year. Now I am surviving not living, but I will survive of course. But it is terrible that before 2 years I lost my dad because of the same reason.
Thank you once more! Do not worry about me!

Posted by: Atanone (atanone)
Posted at: May 15th, 2007 06:18 pm (UTC)
10

Dear,however hard it sounds,you should probably stop to hurt yourself by taking responsibilities..we spoke about it already,so you know what I mean..you did what you could and you both had good days,too..if the life's candle of him was so small,may be the time with you lightened his short life and I'm sure it did,cause I know what a friendly and loving girl you are*huggles*

Posted by: laivindie (laivindie)
Posted at: May 16th, 2007 02:28 pm (UTC)

You comforted me a little, I hope everything will be better after the burial, tomorrow.

Posted by: Atanone (atanone)
Posted at: May 19th, 2007 12:04 pm (UTC)
12

I hope so,dear..I really do..It will take some time..not to forget,but to stop the pain*huggles*

Posted by: fialleril (fialleril)
Posted at: May 16th, 2007 03:56 am (UTC)

*hugs* That's all I can say, really... *hugs again*

Posted by: laivindie (laivindie)
Posted at: May 16th, 2007 02:28 pm (UTC)

That's enough, really!!!

Posted by: Laurelin (laurelinofwotr)
Posted at: May 18th, 2007 11:39 pm (UTC)

*hugs tight* I'm sorry your heart aches so badly my friend. I wish I could make you feel better.

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